Stars
by KiddoBuscus
Summary: He remembers a time when he would have bowed low before the sun, turning his face up to the smiling rays. But now, as he gazes up, he is only blinded. Oneshot, but I may post a companion chapter if this gets enough love.


There is nothing.

An infinity of nothing, waves of it rippling and curling through space.

And then, there is something.

He walks through the desert, trudging through the thick dunes. His shoes, scuffed and filled with sand, drag hopelessly alongside his weary form. _So, so tired._ Not even knowing what motivates him, he moves slowly through the endless desert. The sun beats down through his vest and shirt. He remembers a time when he would have bowed low before the sun, turning his face up to the smiling rays. But now, as he gazes up, he is only blinded.

Bright.

So very, very bright.

Almost... too bright.

As soon as the thought bursts into his head, his foot catches and he crumples. His knees meet the burning grains, delicate fingers cradle his throbbing head. He squeezes his eyes shut, in hopes of finally blotting out the terrible light, but it only intensifies into a dull red behind his eyelids.

Red.

_Red._

_He remembers._

_Her flowing red hair, like a waterfall of fire down her back. He remembers running a thumb over her freckles as her eyelids fluttered closed, a soft smile gracing her face. Cuddling in the back of her truck, talking about the stars. Waking up to the smell of bacon and eggs and the sound of her humming a song along with the radio. Rainy days when they would wrap themselves in blankets and read, sipping from steaming mugs. He remembers laughter and smiles and being so happy he wanted to shout it to the world._

_He also remembers the day she left._

_The day she got a job, and how excited she was. How she couldn't stop grinning, and fiddling with her new skirt. How she eagerly bounded out to the truck, red hair flickering behind her like a candle. How she leaned out the window, waving like a maniac. He waved back, grinning fondly at the retreating shape of her car._

_He remembers a year later, when she finally came back._

_One year later, when she stepped out of the shining black car and clipped up to his door, knocking primly. When her wrapped her in his arms, sobbing about how he missed her and he loved her and please don't leave again. When she patted his back, but said nothing. Only smiled a wide, plastic smile._

_That's when he knew that something was wrong._

_She slept in her own room now. She always left for work by the time he was awake, and he heard the front door slide open just before he fell asleep. Whenever he did see her, she would give him that sugar coated smile and tell him to believe in a Smiling God. _

_She dyed her hair, too. It was a limp, bleached blonde, tied back into a tight ponytail that filled her soft face with sharp angles. Her eyes, once a warm chocolate color, had darkened until they seemed glassy, like coal marbles. One night, he woke up and found her sitting neatly on the couch, staring out the window. He called her name. She turned, in an almost robotic manner, and gave him that chilling smile, before assuring him that everything was alright. They were being watched over by a Smiling God. There was nothing more to worry about. He laid awake most nights after that, staring at the ceiling and praying that he would hear her fixing a cup of coffee, or reading a book, or even sleeping. Just... being alive._

_That was when he realized that she never really came home. _

He curls up on the carpet of sand, screaming until no sound came out. His throat ached, his cuts stung. The sun shone even brighter, painting the desert with its blinding tongues.

_He remembers that day. How could he forget?_

_He remembers how she suggested he come to work with her. Meet her coworkers, see what she did at the office each day. Get lunch together. It would be fun. He nodded, and allowed himself a tiny sliver of hope. Maybe she was still there. He remembers how he tapped his foot nervously against the floor or the car, while she stared straight ahead. Nervous? She smiled at him. He flinched, but shook his head and gave a shaky grin. That's all they were anymore. Transparent smiles and hollow laughs. He barely remembered what it felt like to really feel joy. _

He grabs at his hair, trembling hands frantically trying to block out the sun. Its all he can see now. How could he even think this was a desert? There is nothing to see. Only... light.

_He can recall little after that moment. Only a haze of blurred memories, as though someone had recorded his thoughts in ink, only to dip the page in water. All he remembers is light. It was all around him, as though he were floating in an ocean of it. He remembers watching someone. A man. A man who talked to her. They exchanged seemingly friendly banter that was practically dripping with threats and loathing. They were employee and boss, both disciples of the omnipotent Smiling God. _

_The Smiling God. He remembers embracing that sun, that fire. He was addicted to it, the feeling of being ruled. He left behind his longing, his hope that she would return._

_He wasn't floating anymore._

_He was drowning._

* * *

><p>When he finally gains enough of his sanity to open his eyes, he realizes that the sun is gone. The sky is ink, as though someone slathered tar over his eyes. He inhales, taking a lungful of cool air into his bruised lungs. Then... relief. Its as though all of the years, all of the lies, are melting off of him like wax from a candle.<p>

He is... free

And then, he sees them. Like holes in a blanket. The little pinpricks of light, flickering in the sky. Except... a good light. A soft twinkle of light against the deep velvet sky.

_What about that? Her fuzzy sweater slides up her arm as the points into the night_

_Which one? He tilts his head slightly, brows furrowed in thought._

He stands, tremors wracking his legs. And as the last of the sunspots fade from his vision, he looks up.

_That one's Chara, part of the constellation 'Canes Venatici'. He looks at her, face framed in silken hair and gleaming in the moonlight. In Greek, its name means joy._

_She beamed, tenderly brushing a feather of brown hair from his forehead. He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head, breathing in the scent of cherry blossoms and sandalwood._

_I love you._

_I love you._

I love you.

The moon creeps into the sky, bathing the now chilled desert in its glow. At last, it is night.

Kevin R. Free looks up and smiles.


End file.
